How To Get A Guy To Text You

Updated August 03, 2021

Medically Reviewed By: Rashonda Douthit , LCSW

Our culture today is heavily reliant on text messaging. Gone are the days of calling someone or scheduling regular hang-outs. Instead, most communication takes place over text. Let's think about this for a second, when was the last time someone you were interested in gave you a call, or when was the last time you picked up your phone and had a recreational talk with someone? One of the main challenges of texting is the lack of personality and intended inflection of tone. When we receive a message, we are reading it with our emphasis, our flair, which may not necessarily be the intended tone. This can be especially confusing when communicating with someone you are interested in but may not know very well.

Guys, in general, can be difficult to read. Some men flip-flop between hot and cold regularly, making it hard to know for sure whether they are actually into you or not. That's a really tough place because it significantly impacts the way you interact with said person. To help lift the veil and shed light on what goes on in the male brain, we're going to give you some important tips for understanding how guys text when they like you. Rather than sit around playing a coy game of texting ping pong, hoping to get him to say something directly, let's try to decode 'guy speak.'

Does Texting Help Or Hurt The Early Foundations Of A Relationship?

This is a difficult topic to discuss because we are such a texting-dependent culture. It offers an element of unaccountability, giving people more confidence when communicating with others. We also can think about responses before giving them, not having to necessarily think on our feet as we would when having verbal communication in person or over the phone. People have the best chance of putting their best foot forward through text compared to other communication alternatives.

Studies set out to learn more about whether it was possible to create a connection and get to know someone through text. One study showed that about 50% of participants found it easier to speak about personal topics via text. At the same time, most participants still felt they would prefer in-person conversations. This helps us learn that while texting may be the easier mode of communication, it is less effective when trying to create a significant connection. Even so, the way a man texts can indicate his feelings towards you through texting alone is not likely to spark something that lasts.

It's Not As Easy As Saying "I Like You"

Unfortunately, for many men, ego and pride play a role in most of their actions. This is true when it comes to their texting etiquette with women they like. Fear of rejection causes them to try indirect approaches they can easily recover from if feelings are not reciprocated. It's important to note that everyone has a different texting style, so not all of our tips may apply. However, that being said, many guys understand that a lot can go wrong via texting, so if they like you, they are likely going to put an extra effort towards making you like them. Let's talk about some things you should look for when texting a guy that show you he likes you.

Frequent Use Of Emojis

It's almost going against 'guy code' to make regular use of emojis, so if he's sending you a lot of them, he may be into you. There are emojis for just about everything these days, and if there isn't, there's more than likely an app to make up for it. Emojis are a safe way for him to show his playful side and lighten the tone, in case he knows you may not be completely aware of this type of humor or sarcasm. If this guy isn't one for emojis, you may also notice his frequent use of "LOL," which is usually a defense mechanism to keep you from shying away or accidentally taking offense to something.

He'll Find Reasons To Text You.

There's a lot of debate surrounding the topic of who should text first, how long one should wait before texting someone they're into, or what you should say. If a guy is really into you, he's probably struggling with finding the right balance so that he doesn't come off as pushy but also doesn't seem disinterested.

When a guy is interested in you, all bets are off, and he'll be less likely to shy away from striking up a conversation. You may notice that he sends you a message first thing in the morning or spontaneously texts you late at night. Not only are you on his mind, but he's hoping to keep himself on yours as well. If he's a proactive part of communications, that's a major sign that he's interested in you.

He Asks A Lot Of Questions

Some men love the sound of their voices. They enjoy being the ones to dominate the conversation and talk about themselves and their own experiences while not caring too much to hear about you and your experiences. It shows a major sign of interest when a guy is proactive in learning about you. If he's ready with questions, it shows that he wants to learn about who you are and what you're about. He may even start asking weird, playful hypothetical questions, which is a sign that he is interested because he's trying to be fun and creative, giving you both an opportunity to have fun while learning about likes and dislikes, seeing how well you mesh.

He Suggests Or Hints About Hanging Out

If a guy seems to be all text and no action, it's likely that he enjoys your attention and having someone to pass the time with. There are, unfortunately, many instances where men like the idea of having a girl and going out on dates, but it never goes further than the virtual back and forth. We are all so plugged in that when we have a moment of downtime without a reason to check our screens, we panic. Some people like having others to chat with when this happens.

However, if a guy is texting you and either hint at hanging out or straightforwardly suggests you do, he shows signs of real interest. He may say something like, "Oh yeah, I haven't seen that movie yet, either, no one I know is interested," or "Maybe we should check out that movie sometime." Even though these aren't necessarily solid plans, it's a way of him feeling you out and seeing how you respond or react to the notion of hanging out together. Try not to be too 'hard to get,' as he is going out on a limb here and maybe discouraged if you don't seem interested. If you see potential or are interested in figuring out where things may go, say yes and give it a shot.

He Double Texts

This is another texting etiquette up for major debate. Some see double texts as being a bit overbearing and insecure, while others think it's endearing to be on a person's mind enough that they care to send a second message. If a guy cares enough to text you back after you haven't responded, he is showing signs of liking you. While the guy is fully aware this may make him seem desperate to some women, he doesn't care because he likes you enough to make an effort. He'd rather take the chance than miss out on speaking with you entirely.

He Isn't The First To Send "Suggestive" Texts.

Ladies, we've all been there. We think we like someone, we start messaging with them, hoping they like us back, and then they either send a suggestive or crude photo/text or ask you for something suggestive. If this is a guy's first instinct, he probably isn't genuinely interested in you, and if you were to deny the request or shut down his advances, he would likely move right on to the next one.

A guy who likes you will respect you. He doesn't think of you as a one-night accomplishment but has much more on his mind. That's the end of it. He won't be the first one to ask for or suggest anything crude or suggestive. However, if you decide to get a little flirtatious, then, of course, you can't fault him for engaging. You can gauge his intentions by how he messages. If he seems a bit coy and conservative, without being pushy, he probably likes you.

He Responds Quickly

Yes, sometimes it's that simple. If a guy makes an effort to text you back quickly after you've sent him a message, he's taking an interest. He could be messaging with several women, in which case, his response time would go down, but if he is making an effort to respond as soon as possible after you text him, it's because he wants you to know that you're a priority and he cares. He was honestly probably super excited that you messaged him and also looking forward to continuing your conversation.

He Texts You Good Morning And Good Night

This may be very similar to the idea that a guy will not shy away from being the first to text, but it's worth mentioning. If a guy makes an effort to send a morning or bedtime text, they think of you and want you to be thinking of them too. Think about it like this; if they're sending you a 'good morning' message early in the morning, you were the first thought the guy had this morning. That should make you feel special and cared for. He took time out of his morning routine to make you aware that he was thinking of you. A guy with no interest in you won't interrupt his morning or evening (when he's probably dead tired) to send you a message.

He Isn't Afraid Of Reviving A Conversation.

Sometimes, even when you hit it off with someone, there's a little lull in the conversation where neither of you has anything actually to respond to. This creates an awkward situation where the conversation has died, and neither of you is willing to take the risk of restarting it. If a guy is interested in you, he will fall on that sword gracefully and look for ways to re-start the conversation, even with pointless ramblings or by asking a completely nonsensical question. He is proactive and bravely trying to make as much of an effort as possible because he likes you.

He Works Hard To Make You Laugh Or Smile

If a guy goes the extra mile to fill your day with jokes, funny memes, or stories that make you laugh, his efforts show that he is interested in you. He is investing time and energy into making you happy, and he wouldn't do that if there weren't some level of care. A guy who works to make you laugh wants to be the reason you have a good day, the reason you smile, the reason for your happiness.

Guys can sometimes be very hard to read; the confusion is completely understandable. It's often difficult to tell if they're just 'playing it cool' or actually into you. Even though many of them may not be comfortable wearing their hearts on their sleeves and just coming out and saying they like you, you can still look for little hints along the way, especially in the way they text. If a guy is taking the extra second or minute to make an effort during your text conversations, he's into you. Pay close attention to these little details, and they should become clearer. If you're interested in learning more about how to read guys and find out more about whether your crush is into you, visit www.regain.us/start, where you'll be able to gain new insight into the opposite sex and what they mean versus what they put out on the surface.

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

How often do guys text if they like you?

In some relationships, there is a debate surrounding who should text the other. If someone is really into you, they may be having issues with trying to striking a balance between texting often and being too pushy. However, if they go out of their way to text you first thing in the morning, randomly during the day, or late at night before sleeping, they really are into you. The frequent texts go to show just how much you mean to them. However, if you wonder how often someone should text you if they really like you, you ought to understand that it varies from individual to individual. Some people are more expressive than others. The more expressive ones are prone to sending more texts than the reserved ones. But, in general, you may text someone regularly if they are into them.

Do guys text first if they like you?

Most people don't come out plain if they are into someone. Some people have been known to bottle their feelings even if they like you, and others do not text first because of their ego and pride. Before the invention of cell phones and text messages, feelings were only shown in person. This made it somewhat easier to decipher what someone feels for you over the phone from the sound of their voices. How they text when they like you differ from person to person. Even though there may be one or two exceptions, people generally text someone first if they like them. This is most prominent among those that are a little shy when they are in the presence of their romantic interests. They see the texts as ways of conveying those feelings they cannot express in person. These texts are usually random and likely to contain emojis, questions about your day, your plans, and a lot of compliments. There is no set time for someone to text you.

What hints do guys give you when they like you?

Do some people always ask why people tend to hide their feelings when they are into you? If you wonder what hints people give when they are into you, the answers are not far-fetched. Well, most people tend to hide their feelings for reasons that differ from individual to individual. It is known that most people are ready for a relationship or serious dating in their 30s. So, they tend to give hints to someone they feel is right for them at that age. You can tell that someone likes you if you see some of these hints:

When they seem to radiate a kind of positive energy around you, they are into you. They tend to be all smiles when they are in the presence of a person they like. It would be evident in their smiles and general countenance. It is almost impossible for them to hide the joy they feel when they are with their partners.
When they continue to find your gaze frequently, there are two ways you can tell if someone is into you.
When they try to look good in front of someone, it may be a sign that they may be into them.
When they are always looking for ways to tease you and make you smile, it is a subtle sign that means they like you.
When someone likes you, they'll want to spend time with you. This is another subtle sign they are into you. When they really like you, they do everything in their power to spend as much time as they can with you. They may even participate in one activity or the other to be close to you.
When someone is into you, they lose track of time and everything around them. They tend to forget other things they should be doing because they do not want any distractions when they are with you. It applies to more than relationships. When you are enjoying good company, time becomes relative. If your presence tends to make them get carried away and forgetful, it is a subtle sign they are into you.
When they always want to compliment you and impress you at any slightest opportunity, they are really into you. The person may do so in different ways, like wanting to know and remembering every detail about you.
When someone is truly into you, they will go the extra mile to make sure you are happy. You need to be observant to know this. They may not admit openly that they want you to be happy and comfortable, but they are into you whenever they answer you whenever you call.

So, in essence, someone can show you that they like you generally with their body language.

How do you know if a guy is interested or just being friendly through text?

It may be a little difficult to know if anyone is interested in you or just being friendly through text. However, if you are observant enough, you can read the signs and differences between friends and someone interested romantically.

Some people fall into the category of texting to check on you as a friend, but you would know when someone interested in you sends you a text. If they text you teasingly, they may be into you. But, if they text you sparingly, they may be a friend checking up on you.

Will a guy text you if he's not interested?

Well, it depends on the personality of the individuals. Some people don't text if they are not interested in you. However, other people may text you even if they are not interested in you. There may be reasons why some people do that. Some of these reasons are:

If they want to be your friend with no strings attached.
If they are lonely and bored and are trying to keep it fun.
If they are trying to be polite.
If they need a confidence boost or like the attention.
They could send you a single or double text if they are flirting around or unsure how they feel about you.

Do guys like it when you text them?

It depends on the relationship dynamic and the people in the relationship. Getting a good morning text is sure to brighten your day and prepare you for the challenges ahead. When they are into you, they text you, but most are also open to receiving texts. Unless you are sending the wrong message, texting your significant other is good for a relationship.

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